matthew grey gubler’s tweet about having one foot in the darkness and the other in a hello kitty roller skate is way funnier when you realize he was doing criminal minds at the same time he was voicing simon from alvin and the chipmunks
want a shirt that says YOU SHOULD FEEL VISCERALLY VIOLATED BY THE UNSTOPPABLE CORPORATE ENCROACHMENTS ON YOUR ATTENTION SPAN, BY THE FACT THAT YOU STARTLE LIKE A TRAINED ANIMAL AT EVERY NOTIFICATION, BOTH OVERSTIMULATED AND BORED, LETHARGIC AND JUMPY, WAITING FOR THE NEXT BIT OF VALIDATION WITH THE SAME SICKLY EXCITEMENT AND FEAR AS A GAMBLER AT THE TABLE
i want a shirt that says “monkey time” lol. and has a funny ape on it
the jane prentiss thing just gets hilarious when u really start to think of the logistics on jane’s end. she had to keep martin’s phone charged, keep texting jon and presumably sasha and tim too so they wouldn’t be suspicious, etc etc etc. like i am haunted by the mental image of jane, sitting cross-legged and leaning back against martin’s door with one of those extra long 6ft chargers plugged into an outlet in the hallway, occasionally throwing a knock over her shoulder as she painstakingly types out a text to jonah’s new cringe archivist with her worm-infested fingers
dude being a little kid during an election year was THE funniest thing. kids were all just repeating their parent’s political beliefs verbatim without understanding any of what they were saying. My elementary school did a mock election and I didn’t know what was going on so I just voted for Obama because thats what everyone else was doing. My friend and I were chatting on a swing set and she said to me “I hope Mitt Romney gets elected because I don’t think Obama will get anything done” bitch you are 9
Funny how beer looks like piss …… this says a lot about men in our society
They honestly should make a beer where it’s like just 10% piss.
why would i drink beer that has half as much piss as usual
Fuck off with this kind of talk, you just have not had a real beer yet, you know why because you are a bunch of children. Are you surprised that beer does not taste like the juice box your mom packs you in your stupid lunch box. And I bet you have not even tasted piss before, pee is a delicacy in some parts of upper Germany, you are insaulting every beer maker east and west of the equator. You disgusting child
The beer and piss expert has logged on …
hold on, east and west of the equator?
Beerpiss guy is from an alternate Earth where the Chicxulub impact knocked the planet sideways, so the Equator runs vertically instead of horizontally. Also, piss tastes like Chardonnay on that Earth.
au where the zilo beast eats palpatine and then a while later some rando courruscanti citizen is like “darth sidious been real quiet since the chancellor died…… but thats none of my business 🙈” and the jedi r like “wait”
