My pretentious, overanalyzing ass right before starting The Magnus Archives: So, I don’t know anything about this show, but apparently it’s a cosmic horror podcast and the protagonist is an archivist called Jonathan Sims. Since “Sims” is a very distinctive last name, this leads to the assumption that the author whose name I do not know yet wants it to carry a special meaning. Now, “Jonathan” is a fairly normal name, so maybe the author wants to establish him as a kind of Eveyday Joe, someone like you and me. Sims, however, might stand for two concepts: It could allude to the concept of “simulation” but I hope it doesn’t as “it was all just a dream and we are all living in a simulation” type of stories are rarely well done. It could, however, be a literal allusion to the video game “The Sims” meaning that Jonathan Sims might be an Everyday Joe whose life is controlled by outside forces and who is not aware of the powers that influence his choices. In combination with the concept of cosmic horror, this could be an interesting concept of a show.
Me, exactly 16 minutes and a few google searches later:
Me @ johnny sims after bingeing the whole show and finally listening to MAG160:
[id: the fist image is a photo a clown at a computer staring directly into the camera with a picture of Jonathan Sims (the real person) edited onto the computer screen.
The second image is of the why are you booing I’m right meme editied to say “why am I right” End id]
Spider monkey look like he got an underlying psychotic disorder that would have him attack me as soon as the high hit, loris does adderall and lemur is on some serious crystal so theyre for uppers not downers. Baboon looks like the dad of one of the monkies thats an ex cop so no way. Gorilla seems like a tough guy that would really enjoy a blunt but he likes to roll backwoods. The Macaque brothers are TOTAL stoners, they’d be like “Bro put on tame impala” tho. Start talking about environmental activism. Mandrill is a psychedelics guy definitely, prefers shrooms out in nature and Electric Feel, he may do it once or twice but I wouldn’t hit him up first. Orangutan look like he’d snatch up some of your stash while you ain’t looking, shady friend I dont trust him. Tamarin is the kind of guy who you could have a deep philosophical conversation with, would hit him up when I’m in the mood for it. Chimpanzee the type to constantly be like “you got bud?” So if i was holding i would never dm him. Probocis monkey and Lutung are the chillest to be around while high, no matter what they got your back. Those are your two best friends. Probocis and Lutung definitely.
chris fleming is funny because he looks like someone forced a jc penney mannequin to watch sex and the city 57 times in a row and left it on the front doorstep of a gay bar, but you listen to him talk and recount his experiences and he sounds like arthur dent discovering that he’s bi at 31, like i could hit chris fleming with a sledgehammer and he’d get up and be like “well what the fuck is this, a home depot?”
hey so were y'all gonna tell me chris fleming had a tumblr or was i just supposed to find that out that he reblogged this after waking up from a 5 hour nap like some sort of groggy soon-to-be-hired on the spot court jester
being told i dont understand how fiction works is so funny thank you 32 year old who reads nothing but smut fanfiction i will take that into consideration and maybe drop out of my degree
“its fiction it isnt real nothing that is fictional matters” is genuinely the stupidest lowest brain take and so plainly shows you dont understand the role of the arts in human society like morality aside it genuinely makes u look like an ignorant moron. because you are.
you’re right except smut fan fiction isn’t /below/ other forms of fiction lmao, you don’t have to shit on certain content that definitely takes effort and time from the creators just because you think lowly of the consumers of said content
im sorry. horny fanfiction written by amateurs online 100% definitely no question or contest is so far below the classics of literature its almost laughable.
Okay this person just has their head shoved entirely up their anus considering a good portion of Shakespeare plays are fanfiction
i dont know how to tell you this but creampie69 writing 5k words of voltron porn on ao3 is not world famous playwright william shakespeare
we’re about to witness an actively malevolent adam sandler movie. One where he’s actively trying to make a bad movie, allegedly opposed to his other bad movies… this is gonna be hell. all hands on deck brace for impact.
I’ve literally never been more excited for a movie to be released I’m going face first through the windshield
