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Professor: Your first essay is going to be to go to the library and get some articles and write an essay about archaeology or history!
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Me: Okay, like, what topics?
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Professor: Anything! :)
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Me: Anything like...?
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Professor: Whatever you're interested in! Just make sure it was published in the past 20 years!
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Me:
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Me: Okay, but you need to give me very specific instructions or I WILL die.