juno’s no xenoanthropologist, but between 1) miasma killing all her competitors, 2) juno researching ancient martians, their artifacts, and the general ancient martian xenoanthropological community, and then 3) everything that happened in angel of brahma/the final resting place (+anything juno may have picked up during his speedrun of miasma’s life other than So Much Soup)…juno might know the most about ancient martians of anyone on mars, if not in the solar system
which would be hysterical if anyone from the academic community found out about this, because you know they would want to shake juno down for his information and his sources like, what are your sources, how do you know this, did you find a new site, where is it, please tell us
but practically just means that the carte blanche crew gets Fun Ancient Martian Facts™ sometimes if they’re tuned into Space History Channel™ or any of rita’s streams that involve ancient martians
some person on a stream, probably giving flavor text for something: the ancient martians all died in a terrible war–
juno, bored but excited to pick holes in something: no, it was a suicide bomb. they killed themselves.
some other person on a different stream, basically a trashy tabloid except it’s a stream about ancient history (no wait that’s still the Space History Channel): today’s topic: did ancient martians have sex?
juno, who did not want to have to listen to this: oh my god no. they were all clones. they cloned themselves.
an actor dressed as an ancient martian: *writhes*
juno, stuck somewhere between hilarity and a flashback: that’s not how martians move
the carte blanche crew, except for nureyev: hey juno? What The Fuck
i always think i know what the magnus archives is about until i see another post about the magnus archives. this goes double for penumbra podcast.
magnus archives: someone who may or may not be named magnus works at a spooky library that exclusively specializes in ghost stories and somehow didn’t expect to become extremely haunted
penumbra podcast: someone named juno steel is having a very rough time
