remember the wayside school books those were fucked up
remember that one chapter where a new student came to the class and was wearing like 10 different raincoats and the teacher kept making him take off the raincoats one by one until they got down to the final layer and it was just a dead rat
some other truly exceptional Wayside moments:
-Paul keeps pulling Leslie’s pigtails so he gets sent to the counsellor’s office. The counsellor is a hypnotist named Doctor Pickell, and he hypnotizes Paul into thinking Leslie’s pigtails are snakes. Because he’s a troll, he also hypnotizes Paul into believing Leslie’s ears are delicious candy whenever Leslie says the word “pencil”.
-The class is taken over by the son of hated ex-teacher Mrs. Gorf. Because they killed his mom he uses his superpower of stealing people’s voices to steal their voices and call their parents to say how much each individual student hates their family. The students are forced to listen in silence, crying. (They are saved by the cafeteria lady.)
-Benjamin is too nervous and awkward to correct Mrs Jewls when she gets his name wrong, so he goes by “Mark Miller” for months. He finally says his real name to a substitute teacher. Everyone thinks it’s a great prank and also go by Benjamin for the whole day, including the teacher.
-Louis the yard teacher falls in love with substitute teacher Miss Nogard. She has a third ear on top of her head that allows her to listen to people’s thoughts.
-Joe is the only student to order the potato salad one day. The face he draws in it looks like Mrs. Gorf and she nearly turns Joe into an apple.
-Because Wayside School is 30 stories high, they installed elevators. One only went up and the other only went down, so they got used once and never again.
-Allison gets stuck on the 19th story, which doesn’t exist. Nobody else can see, hear, or remember her. The 19th chapter is three chapters long.
My favorite genre of children’s story is “This would be horror if the characters were adults”
I loved those books. There was also a chapter where Maurecia gets sick of every flavor of ice cream so Mrs. Jewls makes student-flavored ice cream based on each of the kids. And the one where Sharie falls out the window.
Your name is TODD HOWARD. And one day you’re going to be a VIDEO GAME DESIGNER.
You have an interest in HIGH FANTASY WORLDS. You’ve been working on a game called SKYRIM. But you’ve heard about a NEW GAME coming out VERY SOON, that might be a TRUE RIVAL to your BELOVED SKYRIM. It’s called SBURB. What a STUPID NAME.
you know a lot of actors find a particular niche to inhabit when it comes to their roles but you really gotta hand it to David Tennant for somehow landing the absurdly specific category of “immortals that rebelled against their oppressive and bureaucratic people because they accidentally became too fond of the human race and also have a quasi-telepathic bond with a vehicle.”
listen idk I’m thinking about how before new moon came out it was like….every single news story was debating on whether or not they should keep taylor lautner as Jacob, because he wasn’t buff enough, and the film studio and the general public essentially pressured him into doing insane diets and workout routines just so he can keep a role he already won, just because no one would even entertain the character looking slightly different than described, and it was treated as this great thing, like damn, he really pulled it off!!! he’s hot now!!! he can keep the part!!! and that’s just so fucked up like. he was fucking 15 years old??? they spray painted abs onto Robert Pattinson in the same film. Taylor Lautner was LITERALLY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD and practically the entire world slammed him for not having an unreal body, and then once he obtained one grown ass women were drooling over him like a piece of meat for the rest of his teenage years. what the fuck.
I’m still on this! Imagine you’re still going thru puberty and the world is so obsessed with your body that you become a sex symbol for MOTHERS. first all the focus on whether or not he could get the body and then constant focus on what it looks like for the next 4 or 5 years like! That’s so fucked up he didn’t NEED an 8-pack THEY SPRAY PAINTED ABS ON ROB IN THE SAME MOVIE
he did interviews on all his crazy work out routines and said he had to carry around beef patties and other high protein foods wherever he went so he was just eating constantly THATS NOT ALRIGHT and every single magazine article or ET news segment was covering this the whole time. Fans were vocally debating whether he deserved to keep the role that HE ALREADY EARNED. This was such a big deal. What the fuck.
so the highest paid teenager was also the second sexist man of the year, huh
*Racialized pedophilia
I am not a Twilight fan, nor am I a fan of Taylor Lautner, but damn this is wrong to do to anyone and I will fight anyone who tries to defend doing this to a teenager.
has there been a scene in a corny action movie where someone in court is like “i plead…… the second” and then pulls out a gun and wastes the judge
for some reason the right to bear arms didn’t occur to me right away, so for a bit and i was wondering if the US somehow had an amendment i’d never heard of that just gave you the right to kill a judge
