14 year old me at the mall: i am most certainly not a lesbian, and to prove i am not a lesbian, i will very deliberately pretend that that women’s lingerie store does not exist.
Happy pride month here’s a list of my finest moments as yr friendly neighborhood lesbian flight attendant
When a guy at the hotel bar whom i thought was being nice and genuinely wanted to talk abt superheroes suggestively asked what my room number was and i, in shock, replied “gay”
When a man on the plane grabbed my necklace (a musketball, roughly the circumference of a quarter) and loudly asked “is that a ball gag?” And i, in shock, replied “no im gay”
When a ramper gave his number to the gate agent and told her to give it to me and i said “oh no tell him im gay” and she laughed and said “yea i get that” and i said “no i really am gay” bc heaven forbid she think im straight lol and she said “yea me too”
When a 12yo boy confessed to me that he was nervous abt coming out to his dad as trans so i had a 2 hr long conversation w him and gave him 20 bags of pretzels
When a butch lesbian asked if i was local and i said “no im just here for the night” and she said “oh, what kind of a night do you want it to be? 😘”
When i told the other FA (straight woman, 40s) i was gay and she immediately launched into an emotional story about the sapphic love affair she had at an away camp when she was 18
When my captain told me he was in a ldr and i said “oh me too” and he said “yeah, my partner’s a man tho” and i said “oh mine’s a woman” and he had a look of surprised gay elation
When the whole crew went out for drinks and realized all but one of us were lgbt and we all turned to the (straight) captain and he looked like this: 😬
When a butch ramp agent found out i was gay and gave me her number and i said “oh im taken” and she said “that’s fine i just need more gay friends”
When i came out to my (straight) captain and he said “but……you don’t wear pants…”
When i (drunk) and my first officer (drunk) started gushing abt how much we love our girlfriends and our captain (not drunk) said “you two should have a double wedding” so we spent the rest of the night planning one and made a joint wedding registry on amazon
night vale was such an experiment in fan interpretation. you have a leading character who’s appearance is never described beyond “not fat or thin or short or tall”. the most we really know about like, personal characteristics is that he’s a radio announcer. he’s gay. he owns a cat. he’s jewish. he’s weird. the only real thing the audience gets that’s clear cut is that he dresses very badly; like humorously awful. fanny packs and fur tunics. and what is the most prevalent, wide reaching fan interpretation of this? thin blond white dude in a suit.
who thought it was a good idea to hand 12 year old girls razors & be like. use this incredibly sharp tool to remove ALL the hair on your body every single week or else you will henceforth feel like a Disgusting Beast :-)! whose idea was that
