social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too
It’s a TON of work. It’s not doing nothing???? It’s taking pictures at the ass crack of dawn to make a hotel stay “look like a vacation” it’s eating cold food because it took forever to get that right lighting. It’s editing photos and videos for hours because shit has to look professional af. We’re business people, photographers, marketing experts, and have to look good doing it so fuck off w this “influencers do nothing” shit. 🙄
Imagine being so privileged and narcissistic that you genuinely think things like waking up early and eating sub-par food are incredible hardships unique to your lifestyle.
Not even subpar…just like..cold.
so anyway how to make money doing absolutely shit all like an “”“i n f l u e n c e r”“”
I have to say I do think the funniest implied running joke in good omens is how Crowley has decided that the best use of his demonic powers is to make life just a little bit more irritating for everyone who lives in London but without ever considering that HE LIVES IN LONDON
He’s like. Haha. I shall leave these rakes strewn about and surely someone will tread on one and it will snap up and clock them in the face and they will be mad. And then without fail 48 hours later he treads on a rake
This happens every time and every time he’s like ARGH how could I have foreseen this >:[
Monday Crowley: [glues a 50p coin to the sidewalk]
Wednesday Crowley, walking down the street: Oh hey! 50p!
as much as i hate that they changed The Dove Scene the sight of aziraphale nonchalantly raising the dove is fucking hilarious when like, ten minutes before in the same episode he was nervously telling crowley “i’ve never actually…..killed…..anything…..i don’t think i could.” it makes me think that aziraphale accidentally kills someone on average about once every couple of weeks and just goes ‘oh shit not again’ and miracles them back to life before anyone can find out
Now some will say, this is a common german saying that means kiss my ass, but can you really believe the man with rimming paintings in his house didn’t use it to mean eat ass. be reasonable.
please do not force an lgbt label onto anne frank. she died before she had the chance to explore her sexuality and if you need to think of her as lgbt to have empathy for her you need to reconsider how you think of holocaust victims. please do not vilify her father, a man who lost his entire family in the holocaust, for censoring the parts in anne’s diary where she expresses attraction for women. it was 1947. jewish girls were already seen as hypersexual. he was protecting her legacy as best he could, and you have no right to call him a villain for wanting what was period-typical best for his late daughter.
I need show only fans to understand that while Crowley saving Aziraphale on a grander, historic scale is canon, legit and amazing, on a smaller, more everyday scale Crowley is completely useless and Aziraphale absolutely ruthless. I mean, Crowley’s name and number are in call center databases who pester you with annoying sales and advertisements while Aziraphale makes mafia members who try to threaten his shop leave and forget about him.
Crowley is bashful, nerdy, clumsy, and awkward and desperately wants to look cool. He falls off horses, gets cursed out by ducks, stammers a lot, and his idea of Being Bad is to let the air out of car tires. He gets contrite if Aziraphale so much as clucks his tongue at him. While Aziraphale wields a flaming sword, Crowley goes into battle with a tire iron.
Aziraphale lies to God, scares people away from his shop, has people convinced he’s a murderer, and would be very stylish if time didn’t progress forward. He calmly insists that he and Crowley face down Satan himself.
And they both got swindled for decades by Shadwell.
Crowley glues coins to sidewalks and watches from afar to see if anyone picks them up. He’s irritating, at best
Aziraphale makes traffic wardens’ notebooks explode on his way past, apparently thinking that they were invented by Hell. In the show when the Bentley drives away and that poor guys notebook bursts into sparks, that’s him.
Crowley is, like, basically just mischievous and trying to pretend that he’s evil because celestial beings in the Good Omens universe have to pick a side and just aren’t allowed to be ‘basically alright but with a certain sense of humour and an open dislike of authority.’
Aziraphale tries to be good by heaven’s very absolutist ‘no-grey areas’ standards, but on an instinctive level (in the book at least, less so in the show) he has much less value for life than Crowley does. Crowley’s the one who starts worrying about what the apocalypse will do to the dolphins and gorillas and the like, Aziraphale’s the one who straight up suffocates a dove for the sake of his magic act.
In the book, Aziraphale is the one who first suggests killing the AntiChrist. And it’s not in the ‘as a last resort’ way that Crowley suggests it on the show— when he finds out where the real AntiChrist is his first reaction is basically “yay! Now we can kill the child!”
Essentially, the main reason he’s on the ‘good’ side and Crowley’s on the ‘bad’ side appears to be because Heaven and Hell judge morality based on how willing you are to follow orders blindly without asking awkward questions (which is addressed pretty well in the show, actually, when Crowley outright says he Fell because he asked too many questions), rather than on your actual behaviour or beliefs.
crowley took a century long depression nap in the 1800s and got drunk for weeks after he found out what the spanish inquisition was
aziraphale straight up possessed a televangelist and declared on live tv to millions of people that they were all going to die in the apocalypse and their god wouldn’t care if their corpses were part of the ruins His celestial army left behind
