hollis (they/them) currently studying classics and archaeology.

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residentjoth-moved-deactivated2:

> Morrigan

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

Okay but when I was at my parents’ house last I was talking to my mom about my wedding plans. I mentioned that the ushers and groomsmen would escort mothers/grandmothers to their seats immediately before the ceremony. I told my mom she could have my brother escort her or someone else could escort her if she preferred. 

And my dad is across the room an he’s like “WHAT. WHAT. Why does he get to escort her? She’s my wife, I wanna escort her! I love my wife and I want to do it!” 

And my mom is just like “Tom you’re the father of the bride you literally escort the BRIDE.”

And he was like “oh. right.” 

Like literally got so caught up in loving his wife juice he forgot the most important job a father traditionally has at a wedding.

He’s still saying that maybe he could just escort my mom and then turn around and come back for me like asglfjskdkd

taxevader69:

my dad

kooli:

vandals in my town lowkey kinda funky doe

botanyshitposts:

ferguswyrm:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

currently being forced to learn about an*mal cells in cell bio…..the emotional labor…..immense 

animal cells be like hohohohohohohohoooo look at me i am squishy and can cause cancer and the researchers poke me and see how i squish and then go on for 40 pages about how amazing my mechanical strength and rigor is while simultaneously talking about how fragile plants are in comparison even though a bullet would kill me instantly but hohhooh i have body heat and clearly defined organs who’s individual failure could mean death for the organism as a whole….hohohohhoghogoh i eat and dump waste into the bloodstream and am absolutely insufferable about my range of motion

how do you maintain homeostasis with all that salt in your system?

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

dog

• 3 heads means more pets
• also 3 times the goodboy factor
• only downside is more slobber
• 10/10 best boy

cat

• just think of how loud those purrs would be!!
• giant toe beans (don’t poke them if you don’t want to get clawed to death tho)
• unfortunately 3 heads DOES mean 3 times the inherent bastard potential all cats have
• 8/10 please stop knocking all of hades’ skull goblets over he needs them to look cool

ferret

• HUGE noodle
• ferrets are stinky though so he probably smells disgusting all the time
• WILL get into all of your stuff
• might be worth it just to see the three heads try to stuff themselves into one of those ferret tunnels at the same time
• 5/10 please take a bath

parrot

• oh god just think of all the screaming
• three heads arguing with each other all the time
• really smart but also imagine a gigantic toddler with 3 heads throwing a tantrum
• 2/10 can’t you get, like, some chickens instead? seriously, hades shouldn’t have a parrot as a pet and neither should you

horse

• disgusting
• horses don’t need any more power, you fool
• 0/10 will smash you with his hooves and will not regret it

i am BEGGING you people not to leave amazing comments like this in the tags

montparnasse:

the worst character trait about montparnasse is that he “made it a point in his elegance to understand all slangs and to speak none of them.” imagine answering to a criminal who says things like “verily” and never speaks informally… if i was babet i would have mutinied after day two

garbage-empress:

garbage-empress:

trilllizard’s mom checking his room for him so he’ll go to sleep

I think he blocked me for this

manywinged:

yeah social media sucks but there is something kinda fun about being able to share my thoughts with thousands of strangers whenever i feel like it. i can’t shut up and i’ve decided to make it everyone’s problem.