pinkisbitter:

My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they want to. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.

♥ 232460 — 3 years ago on 09 Jan 2020 — via villageidiotwitch

deerpunk:

gender is a demolition derby and i am a $500 2003 ford crown victoria on a rural indiana craigslist

♥ 17021 — 3 years ago on 09 Jan 2020 — via garbage-empress

prokopetz:

You can discover the weirdest things digging into your family history.

For example:

  • Apparently, I have a great-great-uncle who was cursed by a witch after stiffing her on the repayment of one-dollar loan. (Why he borrowed a dollar from a witch in the first place is not recorded.)
  • I also have a great-grandfather, a beekeeper by profession, who’s alleged to have spontaneously combusted one day while tending his bees.

As far as I can tell, these events are completely unrelated - the two men are on different branches of the family tree, and never met - but I can’t help but imagine that somewhere out there, there’s a witch with unbelievably bad aim.

♥ 152468 — 3 years ago on 09 Jan 2020 — via villageidiotwitch

bigstupiduglyogre:

imnotnoura:

tumblr is like a group therapy with no therapist.

a group

♥ 352263 — 3 years ago on 09 Jan 2020 — via hhawkeye

swcomics:

From the Poe Dameron flight log

♥ 8289 — 3 years ago on 09 Jan 2020 — via amaralesbian

sandsvendor100:

image

Well If I Dont Get Pampered I Wither And Die

I Need Kisses And Praise Every Day To Get By

Lest I Curl Up And Shrivel Like Salt On A Slug

Or A Hunk Of Cured Meat Or A Foul Little Bug

Thats What Happens To My Tapir Body, You See

If I Dont Get My Kisses This Happens To Me.

♥ 9319 — 3 years ago on 09 Jan 2020 — via akanamay

captainamericas:

same energy

♥ 13775 — 3 years ago on 08 Jan 2020 — via redlippedladyofrohan

monstermonstre:

what the government has been doing to chelsea manning since she blew the whistle on them is nothing but a slow assassination attempt

they will not stop putting her through legal hell and imprisonment and solitary confinement, and every thing else they can legally throw at her, until she dies

don’t be fooled by any “reason” they give for what they’re putting her through: they want her dead

♥ 12349 — 3 years ago on 08 Jan 2020 — via rattlegore
point-maitimo:
“ « EDI ».
« I am alive, and I am not alone. »
commissions | ko-fi | instagram | deviantart | вконтакте | redbubble | society6
”

point-maitimo:

« EDI ».

« I am alive, and I am not alone. »

commissions | ko-fi | instagram | deviantart | вконтакте | redbubble | society6

♥ 1208 — 3 years ago on 08 Jan 2020 — via scientistsalarian

sexycraisinthanos:

scoobydoosuggestion:

Maybe there’s someone in this abandoned clown factory who can help us

this is what companies say every time they try to buy tumblr

♥ 259241 — 3 years ago on 08 Jan 2020 — via captoring