hollis (they/them) currently studying classics and archaeology.
my favorite out of context quotes from my archeology professor so far in no particular order
- and floridians are just as human as you and me!
- and the moral of the story is that there are no deadly snakes native to alaska
- you might know this guy as one of the only archaeologists cool enough to be mentioned by indiana jones
- it’s my dream to have my name said by harrison ford
- i’m not going to apologize for having this class at 6am because you paid for it and it’s your fault.
- we don’t all dress like lara croft. i tried to get it to be a thing on a dig and my colleagues yelled at me.
- they were pretty good archaeologists except they were too racist to realize anything they found.
- i take back what i said about us not dressing like lara croft because lewis binford here is wearing nothing but short shorts and a cowboy hat. take notes for an academic halloween costume!
- archaeologists can be good artists! not me, though. or anyone i know. but if you can draw just know you have options.
- sometimes you find dead bodies when you dont really expect it and you just have to deal with it
- archaeologists are the only people allowed to get exited when they find corpses.
- once i ruined thanksgiving dinner when i told my family i had gotten my degree in archaeology and my uncle commented he liked dinosaurs too
- the closest i’ve ever been to a grizzly bear is when i left my glasses in my tent on a dig in alaska, saw a big rock in the distance, and almost screamed
additional quotes
- ah yes. archaeologists. or, as i love to call us, pottery analysts
- i mean he was kind of a good guy for helping us beat britain but he owned slaves so that really cancelled it out.
- archaeology is like cultural anthropology, except after you interview the person you turn around and shoot them in the head.
- do not use trees! trees are bad! don’t do it!
- usually you find shards, but it’s super exciting when you find a really big shard
- it’s basically like a waterpark, except you’re fully clothed and walking through a dark tunnel knee deep in muddy water. so, basically splish splash.
- i dont believe in curses but my colleagues and i like to encourage the idea of them so people stop touching our stuff
- usually, you would find a knife in a kitchen. or underneath your pillow to really freak out your roommate who is a history nerd and has no idea why you would sleep with a knife under your pillow and he’ll get really scared and freaked out and okay i’m getting off topic
- no matter what the other scientists say, archaeology is a real science.
- don’t worry, i promise you, and whatever government agency that’s spying on me right now, that i’m not a crazy communist trying to overthrow the government
- by now you’ve noticed the big “POP QUIZ” written on the board. there isn’t one, but i wanted to see the looks on your face when you saw it. but you’re all dead inside so it’s not really funny.
- everything was fine except the citizens of pompeii just woke up dead the next day
- the number one question you should ask when you read old archaeology papers is “how the hell do you know?”
- nothing pisses off old men more than young people asking “why” and “prove it” so do that as often as possible
- this is incredible! all it takes is a computer the size of this room!
even more from the margins of my notebook!
in german we got our midterms back and one kid didnt remember the word for “black” and the question was “what color is a panther” so he wrote “rosa” (pink) and got full credit
also trump actually used to word “bigly” to describe something. twice.
if hillary does become president im going to legit cry that night
also the “i prepared to become president line” was pretty impressive like u know she thought of that line a while ago and she was waiting for a moment to use it
like the debate was
hillary
donald
so im not drunk drunk but i may have broken into my mom’s wine stash during the last half hour and like ive never actually watched a presidential debate before mainly b/c before this election i havent had concerta and mental illness under control enough to be able to focus and actually care but like i can type pretty well and spellcheck is a thing
shout out to lester holt for keeping composed during that fucking circus like honestly it was kind of out of control but idk maybe they’re like that a lot? i doubt it but idk he called out trump as much as he could
props to hillary like she really kept composure and was super prepared and yeah she interrupted too but it seemed mainly to be able to respond to trump which is pretty fair i think like he shouldnt have more time than she does because he’s an ass people are gonna insult her too for it i guess but like? idk i kind of gained a lot more respect for her ability to do that in a calm and collected manner
trump is a fucking buffoon like he had two chances to call out the email scandal and benghazi (two topics that would have thrown things away from hillary’s favor) but he decided to ignore it to stroke his own ego he obviously wasnt prepared and was literally making shit up and going “you’re wrong” when people corrected him he didnt actually?? answer anything?? he didnt say shit other that sometimes vaguely racist remarks
and im super pissed that he’s still going to have so many voters anyway
kind of weird that he debate took place only 30 minutes away from me like i know people who go to hofstra
every fucking question that mentions a specific city or country affected he goes “well i have business there” like
actually okay i dont feel like even finishing fuck trump
“your two minutes are up” the moderator is so resigned right now