i am absolutely obsessed with oliver banks…. found out an old woman would die horribly and like,, filed a report with her about it……went off the rails by committing highly complex identity fraud….got his own fear domain and gave it paperwork….@everyone who’s horny for elias and his spreadsheets…try here instead….
Jonah Magnus, lame and stupid: I want power and I never want to die! how would you like a spooky cruel apocalypse? done did it fuck you we won
Oliver Banks, just a cool dude minding his business: my entity is the literal end of all things, 100% inescapable bulletproof and indestructible. you can keep fighting each other for thousands of years, but every single person currently alive will eventually end up here. you can also kill me if you like it’s literally all I want, and all my entity wants in general! the universe will perish and finally everything will be at peace. plus, not to brag but the single merciful certainty left in this world is that of death. we are unfuckable never been fucked you cannot fuck us. there is no conceivable way in which we are gonna lose. anyway you were saying
[jon archivist voice] i decided to explore the creepy supernatural tunnels beneath the institute, armed with nothing but a flashlight and my very limited wits, in hopes of finding whatever monster is lurking down there, which i am convinced wants to kill me, specifically. then i saw a spider and i got a bit scared so i turned around
