hollis (they/them) currently studying classics and archaeology.
last night i had a dream that i was on this future disney world where it was a space station and then someone planted a bomb and they were evacuating because the whole thing was falling apart like some intense scene in a sci-fi movie like there were explosions and then i saw a lizard and i was like “holy shit this lizard cant use an escape pod! i need to save it!” so i put it in my bag and then i saw more lizards and i was literally the last fucking person and Disney Station was literally about to explode and kill me and i just kept finding the lizards and putting them in my bag and at the end of the dream i was running to the last escape pod with a big bag of lizards
last night i had a dream i was in some desert city?? like w/ cacti and shit. and i was an archaeologist. which is weird b/c i feel like i need a few more years to actually call myself that but
i was wandering around trying to find out where the fuck i was supposed to go and found this bigass egg. like….fucking huge. dinosaur sized. and i saw that there was a really big bird but it was dead and i was like “oh no!! the mother bird!!” so i picked up the egg and fully intended it to bring it to wherever you bring hurt wildlife.
so i go to my dig site campsite (im pretty sure i was on the set of the mummy tbh. also i dont know how i magically knew where it was but…whatever i guess)and the egg…fucking squirms. so i put it down and this bigass cockatoo head pops out?? and i was like holy shit wtf. except it didnt have the weird head feather. and it wasnt the color but it had the beak.
anyway this little fucker pecks it’s way out and it’s like….i guess a baby ostrich? but with a cockatoo head. and not many feathers.and it was really tall. (like up to my waist)
(that might be normal baby ostrich size actally ive never seen one)
and it followed me around and i named it star for some weird fucking reason and we explored ruins together
i actually had a star wars dream last night where
last night i had a dream i had to prove i was a lesbian to someone and i just pulled out my birth certificate and it had a stamp over my name that said “LESBIAN” in big red letters and they were like “alright sorry”
i had an x-files dream which included
i had a weird dream last night that my mom and sister and i were trapped in this weird old fashioned village of weirdly attractive ppl and they were like hypnotized and i was the only one who tried to escape but i couldnt get my little sister or mom out so i confronted the village elders (???) and they were like “since you are over 16 you must be married” and idk the deal was if i could resist the charms of the suitors they showed me who were like, supernaturally attractive i guess, i could take my family and leave
so they lined up all these guys and i was like “no. no. no. no.” for like twenty ppl and once i rescued my family my mom was like “HOW DID YOU RESIST THE CHARMS OF THOSE MEN” and i was like “b/c im a lesbian you’re welcome” and then turned back to the village and went “FUCK YOU IM GAY” and skateboarded home
last night i had a dream i was driving through the woods in the late afternoon and the sun was low and i remember not going very fast and i kept seeing animals and i was like “cool!” and i passed a deer and it wasnt moving but i t was poised like it was about to run and then i noticed it was dead and nailed to the tree in that position and i noticed all the animals (squirrels, birds, rabbits, and more deer) were all dead and someone had nailed them to trees in poses and some were impaled on sticks to make it look like they were all about to run and there was fresh blood and i knew if i drove faster i would alert whatever did this to my presence so i kept driving slowly and there were no living animals but dozens of those dead posed ones and the road was really long and i saw a bike with those little baby carriers on the back and i knew that if i kept driving i was going to see some dead person and their kid nailed to the tree and i got so freaked out i woke up
i had a dream last night that i found a small koala roaming in my garden in the winter. now, i knew that koalas are probably vicious and stuff b/c they’re wild animals and also from australia but this little guy kept going up to me and rubbing against me?? he was hugging me and shit and i was like “oh my god this is adorable but i need to get to animal control” because a koala can not thrive in new york winter weather and i didnt want this little guy (named jeb) to die.
so for whatever reason i forgot that phones existed at all. so i decided to go to the nearest animal shelter (which is within walking distance of my house, albeit a very long walk.) so i was trying to find a cat carrier or something to transport this koala in and i kept going up to neighbors and they’re like “wow what a weird cat!” and i was like “look ma’am this isnt a cat it’s a koala” and they were like “it’s probably a scottish fold!” and nobody except me realized it was not a weird cat but a goddamned australian marsupial. so i finally found a cat carrier, which was not plastic but kind of mesh with metal like a weird tent thing??? idk it zippered and it was blue and orange and had the mets logo on it. and the little koala kept unzipping it to climb out and cling to my arm and rub it’s cute little face against me in what is a catlike manner but i knew it was probably going to tear my throat out.
so i go to the nearest animal shelter and they’re like “okay nice cat you have there” and i was like it’S NOT A CAT IT’S A GODDAMNED KOALA but nobody would believe me and they wanted me to fill out forms to abandon this little guy and they were trying to give him cat food but cats are carnivores and im pretty sure koalas are herbivores but we don’t have any australia plants around here and i was so frustrated and jeb kept crying and it was stressful
so i decided that, being the only person on long island who realized that koalas are not weird cats, i was going to go to the bronx zoo to find a zookeeper and help this baby koala.
so nobody would let me take the koala with them on any sort of transportation (”we dont allow cats on the bus!”) so instead of getting my mom or something to drive me i decided to walk to the bronx zoo. now, i do live on long island which is close to new york city. except like maybe an hour away by train? or really fast car. it’s like a full days walk by foot and i didnt have a map at all and just decided “i’ll walk until i see the city and wing it from there”
then i dont remember the details that much but the walk consisted of me trying to find food for a baby koala and ending up feeding him clover flowers and there were egyptian mummies and lighting candles to the god osiris and im not sure how that helped but i finally made it to the bronx zoo and went “look. im not paying to get in but can i see a zookeeper? i found htis guy and i think he needs his mother” and finally i found a zookeeper and he looked at jeb and i and went “sorry, we dont keep housecats at the zoo”
at which point i screamed so loud in frustration i actually woke myself up in real life
last night i had a weird dream about saving the universe and i dont remember most of it but i remember at one point i took off my shirt to distract the Big Bad from destroying us all and just shouted “LOOK HOW FUCKING PERKY MY TITS ARE.” and it worked