Heterosexual: I have straight hair
Homosexual: I have curly hair
Bisexual: I have wavy hair
Asexual: I’m bald
Demisexual: I’m usually bald but I like to grow my hair out for special occasions
Pansexual: My hair texture depends on the humidity, the moon cycle, and whether or not Saturn is in opposition
im losing my fucking mind
asexual: i’m bald